Too often in litigation, families are swept along in complicated and intimidating court proceedings controlled by lawyers. Parties are informed of their rights but are not necessarily given the chance to consider what’s best for them or their children. Mediation, on the other hand, puts the parties in the driver’s seat: It lets them steer the resolution process by asking the questions, finding answers and negotiating the final outcome.
Litigation is judgmental by design. It is a win-lose process that tends to focus blame on one party and can leave both parties more angry and resentful than they were when the process began. Mediation is collaborative. It encourages open, one-on-one discussion that attempts to separate problems from people and helps them find mutually-agreeable solutions in a calm, decisive manner.
Circumstances leading to separation or divorce are difficult to say the least, and often the decision to live apart has been a long time coming. The next step should be one that contemplates the future instead of continuing to dwell on the past. Mediation helps people take that step. Rather than focus on the conflict, mediation works to heal it, and in doing so builds a foundation for positive communication after separation or divorce.
Not only does it reduce the emotional costs of family disputes, mediation also serves to ease the economic consequences of family breakdown.
© 2008 Milka Vujnovic